What's worse than Georgia Summer heat?

What's worse than the scorching and humid Georgia Summer weather? No man-made relief from it as in...air conditioning.

We had noticed on Saturday that our AC may not be running up to par.  There's no reason why the temperature inside our home should read "85" (Fahrenheit) with our thermostat set at "74" (Fahrenheit.)  There's no reason why wearing close to nothing should still produce rivers of sweat.

We went out, noticed the unit was running but was covered in dirt and leaves.  We hosed it down, and we prayed for the best.  Nope. 

Last night we were sitting in bed, melting, and I said, "I don't think the AC is working properly."  We have an oversized ceiling fan in our bedroom, and it was just circulating heat.  I stepped outside, and it was cooler outside (no bueno.)  Even our dogs (inside dogs, of course) were restless. 

After putting our hand near a vent, we noticed it wasn't blowing out any cool air (or air) whatsoever.  Great.

It's now 12 a.m. (midnight,) we're melting, we're having AC issues, and we both have to work in the morning.  After checking around and doing some quick fixes, we were able to wash down (again,) and head to bed (at 2:15 a.m.)  I was woken up at 2:37 a.m., drenched in sweat.  In a half asleep-daze, I reached down, and the AC was barely blowing.  Instead of turning it off and opening the windows, I went back to sleep until waking up at 6 a.m. completely miserable and exhausted (I couldn't get to sleep the night before, and now this makes night #2 - prepare for Ms. Cranky today.) 

I turn off the AC, open all of the windows, turn on the ceiling fan, and cook breakfast.  When Andrew wakes up, I tell him what was going on, and he was less than thrilled.  Luckily, my SIL informs me that she and my brother's friend is an HVAC guy (I sent his wife an e-mail as soon as I got into my office!)

In the meantime, we moved our dogs' crates downstairs in our finished (and cool) basement so they wouldn't get heat exhaustion today, and I'm crossing my fingers that "HVAC" can help us!

Melting White Girl in South Georgia Summer Heat

So if I could be DANA COOK - (the female version of Dane Cook) - I would be. If you don't know who Dane Cook is...you should be ashamed of yourself!

So I'm a yankee girl../transplanted down to Georgia...and I don't do well with this heat. First off....it gets so friggin' hot...Satan goes back to Hell to cool off.

The white yankee folks are melting down here.

Don't get me started on the small buzzing...annoying...kamikaze flying...engine-powered gnats...different story.

No...I'm talking about meeeeelllllllting.Leaving Savannah....my blouse was completely unbuttoned...the ladies were out...my blouse tied around my waist - A/C blasting...and not doing a damn thing.

Don't....touch.....me. I'm hot. That's all there is....I'm friggin' hot. A family walks out of a museum that parallels my car. "Hello family - no - I'm not flashing you...I'm just melting" I say with a half-attempted smile.

Jude Law..in all his glory...could come up to me right now and ask me to have sex with him. My response? "DON'T F*CKIN TOUCH ME!" I say...arms flailing wildly about like a madman. I'm hot...I'm melting..and the last thing I want is some multi-million dollar hottie wanting to have sex with me. I mean geez...what IS he thinking?Continue driving towards I-16....*sing-song* still ho-ot.

A couple of truckers...a couple of men...and a few lesbians get a thrill, but I'm still friggin' hot. I think my internal A/C just isn't working. C'mon God...pass along a little Natural Freeon. Two hours pass, and I think my body is back down to triple digits - no longer scorching like the core of the Earth.

Now I'm all nasty....I'm sweaty....I'm BLAGH...there's no other term in the English language like "BLAGH" that just sums it up..."how are you?""BLAGH.""how are you feeling?""BLAGH.""what's the weather like?""BLAGH."Really - what better word is there.

So the moral of the story is.....yankee white girl + South Georgia + blagh = Don't F*ckin Touch Me!