I don't know WHAT I'd do....

I don't know WHAT I'd do if the man I loved sacrificed his own life so that myself and another could possibly live and died beneath me :(

"Fallen Mount Rainier Hiker Hailed As Hero"

SEATTLE -- A hiker who died of exposure on Mount Rainier had lain on the ground so that his wife and friend could lie on top of him in an effort to stay warm, a ranger at the park told KIRO News Radio.

Eduard Burceag, 31, died from exposure on the mountain Tuesday after he, his 31-year-old wife, Marianna Burceag, and friend, David Vlad, 37, went for a day hike on Monday and became trapped during extreme weather conditions.

"They definitely knew they were in a tough spot all night and they basically huddled together and lay on top of each other. But he (Burceag) took the hit for his team and insisted on being kind of the guy on the bottom so he would take the brunt of the cold and keep his wife warm. And she made it," said a park ranger.

Unknown Territory.

This isn't a place I haven't been before. This is the house I grew up in for 7 years of my life. My mother took me into the spare room (which used to be my brother's) and showed me some things she brought down from Nan and Pop's house. Immediately, I have a minor panic attack. My throat tightens to prevent from crying, I get hot, I get dizzy, and I just want to walk away, but I can't. She shows me things like photograph pencils (OLD) and watercolors, paints, and some other things. I run my fingers across the box of never-opened watercolors that my Pop probably bought to try out, got ill, and never could.

I feel like a stranger here. I love my family, but I knew this weekend was going to be tough. Who wants to go through a house that belonged to two family members you loved dearly who were here one day and gone the next? Who wants to go through it alone? Already, as I sit here typing this, I tear up at the thought of going up to "that" house. This was the whole reason I came down here. Call it "closure" if you will or some other "grieving" tag. It will be one of the last times I come to that house. The only other time I will be there will be to pick up furniture that I am moving somewhere up where I am. I don't know where yet - storage unit - no room for it now (woodburned coffee table with a mark on it from a candle Pop put on it, etc.)

I won't ever be at the house again watering the flowers, mowing the yard, having dinner with my grandparents, bringing up a new dog to meet them as they pet him/her from their bed. I won't ever sit with my Nan and watch (temporarily) NASCAR that she loved. I won't sit there with Pop and watch John Wayne like we used to. It will just be another house put on the market for sale. An empty shell of a life that once was.

Musical Chairs: Top of the World

Musical Chairs Entry #2
Song: "Top of the World"
Artist: "Dixie Chicks"

This is one of my favorite songs, but it is incredibly sad. The words make me want to cry, but it is so beautiful. Tonight this song has more meaning to me thinking back at my Nan and Pop and how much I miss them.


I wished I was smarter
I wished I was stronger
I wished I loved Jesus
The way my wife does
I wish it had been easier
Instead of any longer
I wished I could have stood where you would have been proud
But that won't happen now
That won't happen now

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I don't have to answer any of these questions
Don't have no God to teach me no lessons
I come home in the eveing
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there in my chair

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird
Shes never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I wished I'd a known you
Wished I'd a shown you
All of the things I was on the inside
I'd pretend to be sleeping
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good-bye
Go to work in the rain
I don't know why
Don't know why

Cause everyone's singing
We just wanna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world right now

To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world

Enough Said.