Old Blog Post # 6

Friday, March 21, 2008
Overuse of Metaphors.

Ugh. It irks me when, instead of writing directly what you think/say, someone has to write this huge metaphor for life or love or death and sappingly drape it with $5 words without actually making a point.

I read an acquaintance’s blog. An acquaintance who attempts to hook up with whomever will give him the time of day, but yet, wait, what is this? You have been dating someone all along. Maybe I’m confused. I venture over to another website where he is a member, and I read “Relationship Status: It’s Complicated.” The only time THAT phrase should be used is if you’re separated and pending some nasty divorce or custody battle. “It’s Complicated” is a cop-out answer. You either ARE in a relationship, or you AREN’T in a relationship. I thought that was pretty easy?

Instead I roll my eyes and swallow down a little vomit as I read a diatribe about how “love” is a double-edged sword – one side good, one side evil. (But wait – he said “double sided,” does he mean ‘tape’?) It ends with he has shaken off a vain gold-digger after two weeks but finds himself a little vain, too.

Oh my dear Lord. *insert eye roll here*

Two weeks? Love? Vanity and materialism? Yah – that’s what I want to base my relationships off of.

I alert my friend that Vanity, Materialism, Arrogance and conceit only “sharpen” the malignant edge (since we’re now apparently talking strictly in metaphor) thus dulling the benign edge.

D-R-A-M-A only belongs on a stage, people.