Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Spiders make me want to vomit.

I think they're "interesting," and I don't need to know their benefits to our world, but the thought of one crawling on me, feeling its little spindly, wire-like legs tip-toeing across my skin makes my throat close up and makes me want to vomit. I am NOT an arachnophiliac by any sense of the overly-complex word.

Daddy Longlegs never bothered me. I've seen a Brown Recluse up close and personal. I've seen a female Black Widow perched outside my parents' house. I've seen a Wolf Spider (often mistaken to be a Brown Recluse because it's...well...brown).

The spiders I really don't like are the Eris category of jumping spiders. They resemble little crabs. They stare at you. They're not dumb. They follow your hand as you reach for a ruler, and it freaks you out. If they had a personality, they'd say "ha HA!" as they leap towards me making me jump.

I remember going to an exotic pet store in Oakwood, Georgia. I went there and looked at the beautiful snakes (yes I said beautiful). Bright greens, yellows, even purples, etc. I walk down the back room, my eyes looking left, right, left, right, left, and when I turn right, I gasp as I'm confronted with a HUGE spider staring at me. By huge, I mean about 5 inches in diameter, perched against his container staring at me. I jump back towards the Bearded Dragons across the way. I stare at him wondering who the Hell would want him as a pet? I don't dare tap the glass, but I move my fingers towards it and wiggle it to see what he'd do (after making sure his big hairy ass wouldn't jump out and eat me). The owner comes flying around the corner.
"Oh, I wasn't tapping its glass."
"No, I mean don't do that. Don't threaten him with any motions. When threatened they ball up and shoot out these fine fibers that are like fiberglass."

I immediately want to vomit at the thought.

"Goliath Birdeater" is the type of spider it is. It could have been one of the most heart-stopping moments of my life.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Yeah...we call them "humpback spiders" (I think they're a sort of wolf spider...but it also jumps). We had one in my parents' house when I was a teenager, and the blasted thing was sitting on the mouse. When I reached over to move the mouse, I saw this thing in my periphery. It stared at me. I leapt back. It leapt forward and literally chased me around the room! It was my worst nightmare coming true. I'm always fearful of bugs chasing me, and this horrible creature just compounded the fear completely. *shudder* I hate those damned things.