Funny things...

Funny things I heard this weekend:

(While talking to Stew via cell while he was working...as a Lee County Sheriff's Deputy)
(Southern accent, appx. 2:45 a.m.) "We got an extremely intoxicated 17 year old."
Just goes to show you there is NOTHING to do in South Georgia.

"I'm from Ireland."
"Shelby went to Ireland!"
"No, I was in Scotland."
"Scotland, Ireland, can't you just walk to Ireland from Scotland?"
(my witty response I had JUST NOW: only if you're Jesus)
"No there seems to be a sea in between the two."

"Did they ever open up the Chunnel yet?"
"I don't know."
"The Chunnel? What's that?"
"The tunnel under the English Channel. There was a massive fire."
"Ah! The Chunnel. Yeah I think I saw something on the Discovery Channel when they were building it."
"I don't think so. I don't think the Discovery Channel was around when the Chunnel was being built."

Famous last words: "I don't need to eat anything. I had a ham sandwich before we left."
(Four hours later, someone was crashing in our guest room for the night)

"Damn you're a good swallower. I really like how you can swallow that."
(RE: Irish Car Bomb drinks, perverts)

(NYC accent) "Whaddaya gonna do? Gonna box me in or sumpin'?"

"Guitar God! Teach me guitar!"

"I expect those will show up on Facebook."

(This morning)
"Don't be too rough on me on Facebook for last night."
"ha...I uploaded the pictures already last night."

"I'm an incredibly expensive drunk. I would say somewhere around $500 or so."
(This was after paying a $135 bar tab)

"Brownchickenbrowncow."
(Though the best part was Galen playing 70s porn on his guitar whilst humping it)

"You look like you could use a massage, PoolBoy, and I'm the Delivery Boy."