Common 1st Date Mistakes

I must be working oh so diligently at work today...can't you tell?I've been browsing around (insert online dating of your choice) for quite some time, and I've noticed an overall trend among some of the profiles: common first date mistakes.In the section where it talks about an ideal first date, I see some major pitfalls on some peoples' profiles, and then I see that they post "what am I doing wrong?"

First of all, it's an online dating site. While you can sit all day long and talk to someone via the internet, you don't "know" the person. You may even exchange phone numbers after awhile, and then it comes time for the first "real" date.

Some of the common pitfalls I see are as follows (with reasons why they're pitfalls):

1.) "A nice romantic dinner with soft music, candlelight, and gazing into one anothers' eyes."

What's wrong about that? Well, allow me to explain. It's a first date - it's basically like a job interview. You dress in suitable attire and you go and meet someone face to face. You run through the motions of how are you? traffic sucked, etc. It's an intial how do you do. It's not an intial, hey - I see my future in your eyes, princess, and I want to be your prince charming for the rest of your life. A perfect first date ends with making plans for the second. Don't scare a woman off by being overly romantic on your first meeting.

2.) "An ideal first date would be going out and watching a movie."

And this one? A movie is NOT an ideal first date. As I said above, a first date is still a "how do you do" and how well you and the other person mesh together - not in the "we mesh so well - I love him/her" sense - but the "can you tolerate being around me more than 5 minutes" sense. When you go to a movie or you watch a movie - you're watching....a movie. WATCHING - not talking through it (that's rude). The one and ONLY bypass to this is if you're at home watching a funny movie. Whatever you do, don't go out on a first date to watch some passionate English Patient/Painted Veil love story. You'll both be miserable. The problem with the bypass stated above is that means that one of you will have to go to the other persons' house which can not only make for an interesting "out" attempt if the date isn't going well but could also be dangerous.

3.) "An ideal first date would be going out to some bars or pubs for a few drinks."

That's not so bad...As we are all adult enough to know, there are varied kinds of persons that evolve when they have been drinking: we know them - let's say them out loud: the mean drunk, the amorous drunk, the cool and quiet drunk, the boisterous thinks they're funny but they're not drunk, and the funny drunk. I happened to be the sneaky - what can we do - drinker. How do you know that if after a few drinks the person you're with isn't going to turn into Bitchfest 2008 or Asshole 2008? What's to say that this person doesn't get pushy or mean? Yeah, a few drinks don't ALWAYS end up being a bad night, but it could be.

Here are some good first date ideas (you gotta "get to know the person" a little bit beforehand for these to work):

1) A sporting event - this would indicate that he/she enjoys sports. Let's face it, even if you don't enjoy sports, a live sporting event is always a blast!

2) People watching at a park, etc. - what could be more fun than going and watching different people?

3) Amusement Park - even if the person you've met isn't all that and a bag of chips - you'll both still have a blast.

4) Hanging out at a local coffee shop - and I don't mean Starbucks. Good conversation, a variety of beverages, and look, if you're in our hemisphere - the weather's getting chillier - c'est parfait!

Obviously, I'm not a dating expert, and I'm no Hitch, but I do date, and I can see where some things fail when people are trying too hard to obtain the final product (a loving and lasting relationship) before you're even out of the gate.Happy Hunting.