Tuesday, April 8, 2008
In 1999, I was a freshman in college. I remembered sitting in the computer lab rapidly tapping the keys to get a 4-page paper typed and printed within 30 minutes before class. Someone had IM'ed me - his name was Chris. He seemed like a nice guy, we chatted.
For the next couple of years, we "dated." I knew everything about him: he was a Christian radio DJ at night, and he was a minister at a church about an hour away as well. He loved helping people and giving advice. We lost touch around Summer of 2000 when I went away for summer break, wherein I met dumbass-to-be and was married March 2002. By Fall 2002 (when the dumbass and I were divorced because I found him not only cheating on me, but had raped a girl as well), Chris was there for me, and later that year was talking about marriage in general and how one day he hopes to find "the one" to settle down with and start a family. I thought, "this guy is a great, solid, caring guy."
Later on in the year, he sent me photos from his high school class reunion (10 year reunion). He had a picture with he and a girl's faced pressed up against each other. He had told me it was one of his best friends from high school - how sweet. He told me he wished I could have come with him, but I had plans that weekend.
I went to his house several times- nice little house - nothing out of the ordinary. Very basic decorating, but definitely professionally done.
In 2005, he came and rode horses with a friend and I. It was good to have a relationship in which things were taken slow.
He told me he thought I could be the one.
In 2005, I moved away to help with family medical issues. During that time, we sort of fizzled out, and our relationship came to an end.
In 2006, I found him on MySpace, and when I saw his profile, he was married with three children. I messaged him and congratulated him on the news. How nice it was that he did find someone and accepted her with kids as well! My response was, "what news?" and I told him, "on you getting married!"
"I have been married for the past ten years."
I was more mad than upset. He attempted to make me appear to be dumb and as if he had "told me before" and "from the get go." Only to message me a few minutes later saying his wife was standing next to him, and he played it off. He was sorry, but he could have "sworn he told me."
His wife....was his "best friend from high school" in the photo. He told me she knew he had cheated a few years ago so there was no point in continuing this any further, but he hoped we could still be friends.
Of course, we are no longer friends. I watch the daytime talk shows in which women confront married men in the same situation as above. People in the audience ask, "how could you not know?" But I know it's possible not to know.