Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Awful Dreams.

You know, sometime in Monday afternoon, I had a chat with Jugs and came to the realization a lot of things about myself and my life. Nothing bad or life-changing, but it's always good to get someone else's standpoint on things in general. I had things all settled out. By "settled out" I mean not letting some things bother me like they have been, trying to "breathe" more, and stepping back for an overall assessment of things rather than have one thorn pop up and ruin everything. The thorns that pop up will only ruin everything if I let it. So I'm not.

Yeah, that probably sounded like a bunch of B.S. mumbo jumbo, but it makes sense to me.

However, after all of this, I prayed on Monday night asking God not for help, but just a little guidance and support in this new venture.

In the middle of the night, I woke up drenched in sweat, crying, and a sick feeling in my stomach from whatever my dream was. There has only been one other time in my life when I have had such a dream (nightmare). It was when I had a dream that my brother and I were out somewhere. I think I was a kid, and he was an adult (funny since we're a year and a half apart). A group of guys had him on the ground kicking him and beating him, and I saw them doing so and just stood there, paralyzed, not being able to do anything. I was crying in my dream, and when I woke up, I was actually crying. This dream was different. I can't remember it at all, but I wish I could so I would know what had such a profound effect on me.

I eventually fell back asleep, but it wasn't sound sleep. Apparently it wasn't just a rough night for me that night either.

Last night, I had a similar dream. This time, I woke up crying. I didn't have the same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I can't remember that dream either. I eventually fell back asleep, but it still puzzled me.

Apparently, I'm not the only one having these dreams as I heard from a schoolfriend of mine that she has been having similar dreams.

We shall see.

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