Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Parkour - Park-your

I don’t know how, but I came across a website detailing “Parkour.” Do you know what it is? Parkour is a form of, I don’t know “exercise” in which you use your body’s natural abilities to propel you through an area – the woods, a playground, etc. You may have seen it. People running full force, and without missing a beat, placing one hand on a wall in front of them and effortlessly tossing themselves over, landing on the ground and continue running.

It resembles something out of a vampire movie actually. It’s pretty interesting to watch: the real Parkour, not morons jumping off roof tops just because. The fluidity of the movements is breathtaking, and so I pondered, that looks like something I might like to do, so let’s put me in my own Parkour world for a second, and board the train of thought going through my mind:

Setting: A city park/playground
Objects: Monkey bars, play area, fences, rocks, swings
Characters: Me and random people
Time of Day: Afternoon

I take off running towards an anchored trash can expecting to throw my palms flat on top and smoothly careen over it like a gazelle.

“Am I gonna make it? Can I do it? Oh my God what if I don’t? Will I hurt myself? What the hell was I thinking?”

I go to launch myself, and two things happen…

“ARGH! What did I just stick my hands in!” and the “anchored” trashcan tumbles over. I pull out a graceful move, but have now emptied the contents of a city trashcan onto the playground.

I continue running, I run towards a section of the jungle gym. Kids WERE playing but have now stopped. I think, at least, to check out my “parkour.” (How do you even say that?)

I do a half cat/half hippo launch into the air, my right leg flails out, and I look at it wondering, “how did that get there?” as I knock a small child down and tip over another kid’s stack of sand and rocks.

Woo-hoo! I land like a stealthy cat. The kids behind my are crying, and parents are snatching them up, several are on their cell phones.

I continue running, and I realize the playground area is starting to clear a little bit. That's cool - more room for me.

I make it over to the slide, and I decide to run up it. By this time, I’m feelin’ pretty confident, so I take off – la-dee-dee! I run up the slide before realizing that this metal slide has been sitting in the sun the whole day and scorch my hands and fall forward hitting my funny bone on part of the playset.

By the time I get to the very top of the slide, I’m slightly out of breath, and I turn around, triumphantly, to look over my domain.

There is trash everywhere – cups, napkins, food, dirty diapers.

There are children crying over by the sandbox and the look of angry parents staring at me.

I see blue lights coming, and they get out of their car and point directly at me.



That virtual epiphany was more than sobering to me to realize Parkour is not for me.

No comments: