You're not a REAL gamer....

You're not a REAL gamer until you've seen Grandma's Boy at least three times.

Quotes:

ALEX: My Grandma drank all my pot.
JEFF: That's awesome.
ALEX: What?
JEFF: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?
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DANTE: Does anyone want to try this weed? It's called Brown bomber.
ALEX: Why is it called that?
DANTE: Because when you smoke it You get so stoned that you shit your pants! Hahahaha!
JEFF: Uh, I don't wanna do that.
BARRY: Yeah, I already shit my pants this month.

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JEFF: I can't believe you came on my mom! (the infamous Tomb Raider scene)

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Josh and Alex are playing a game when the movie opens. Alex is kicking Josh's ass:

JOSH: [first line in the movie] FUCK! Stop hitting me! (wherein when Alex isn't looking, Josh unplugs his controller and beats Alex)

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JEFF: Do you have bathrooms here, or do I have to shit in a plant?
SHILOH (David Spade): BAHAHAHA! Stupid FUCKING idiot! Red-shirted ASS! You guys think you're so fucking cool, it makes me sick! "Oh, let's go make fun of the vegans, and their crazy lifestyle!" We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!

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SAMANTHA: Alex, I need you to deal with 10 through 15 because those are the real problem levels and...
SAMANTHA: Is he sleeping?
JEFF: Yes, and possibly shitting his pants.
[pats Alex]
JEFF: Wake up, dude.
ALEX: [wakes up] No chores, Grandma!
SAMANTHA: Nice rip, Alex.
ALEX: Rip what?

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J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.

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JOSH: She's a massage therapist!
MOVER #2: Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money.
MOVER #1: There's a word for that, I think it's hooker.
JOSH: YOU'RE A HOOKER!

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ALEX: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
DANTE: Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
ALEX: You're getting a lion?
DANTE: Yeah.
ALEX: Why?
ALEX: Never heard of a dog?
ALEX: Yeah, that's true.